Time Suck Continuum

I lose sunglasses. Not a lot, but I inevitably lose them. I have one pair that I really like and they were purchased at Target. All hail The Target. I don't go nicer than Target sunglasses. Because, as previously stated, I likely lose said sunglasses.

Well, I purchased a second "just in case" pair in March. These were worn with as much frequency as the standard Target sunglasses. However, the new sunglasses were only $7.99 and also purchased at Target. As opposed to my "high end" sunglasses purchased at Target for $12.99.

Gotta love Mossimo at Target. Gotta love Super Target.

A while back, my sunglasses were dropped into Medina Lake. I was at the lake over Memorial Day and this boy that I'm dating (and actually like for longer than 2 weeks) dropped them into the lake. He was chivalrously hoisting down the wakeboard from the overhead-wakeboard-holder-contraption-thing (that is the official name) for me to ride, and his muscles were bulging, and he dropped my glasses into the drink. With quicker reflexes than a puma, I flung my bikini-clad body into the water, touched the precious sunglasses numerous times, before kicking them farther down towards the sandy bottom.

I am a graceful specimen.

Then, the most monumental thing happened: I didn't get mad that my Just In Case Target $7.99 Sunglasses were lost. Did I mention the bulging muscles? I think I was distracted. Oh, and I was about to attempt wakeboarding for the first time in my life and I was preoccupied with pre-game motivational and competitive thoughts that were running rampant in my brain. I'm pretty sure I even said out loud, "LET'S GO ROSE! YOU GOT THIS!", to which all four males aboard the boat looked at me with fear as if I were Kathy Bates from Misery.

So, now I'm down to my ONE TRUSTY $12.99 PAIR OF TARGET GLASSES. That I've had for over 6 months. Astounding, I know.

This morning, I got up for a run and looked for my sunglasses because it's BRIGHTER THAN THE SURFACE OF THE SUN at 7:45am in Texas. It's like the equator is a myth and we live here at the closest possible location to our planet's source of heat. Good grief. Anyway, I left the house, walked outside (dry-heaved from the heat) and then went back inside for my sunglasses. Except, I can't find them. They aren't in my purse and they aren't in my car.

I can't find them I say. Where are they? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

I think I left them in Bulging Muscle Boy's car or house and can't find them at my convenience. I begrudgingly run, and managed to make it the entire day without sending a frantic, "WHERE THE HADES ARE MY SUNGLASSES SINCE YOU LOST THE FIRST FRICKIN' PAIR?" text.

Again, I am a graceful specimen. Quite the catch, no?

I went to Target at about 3:30, searched the entire wall o' glasses, and came up with NOTHING. I was very willing to purchase the $14.99 pair, too. Because I am WITHOUT SUNGLASSES PEOPLE. Admittedly, the $14.99 pair were 30% off and I couldn't do the mental math, but I was pretty sure it was cheaper than $12.99. That is, if I found a pair I would actually wear in the presence of others. Which I could not.

Dejected, I took a stroll through the $1 section, and found a pair of packaged sunglasses. I kid you not. It's like my agony and searching was just so God could get a kick out of my eye degeneration from all the UV rays I've been absorbing for the last day! Seriously, the $1 pair were way better than any $7.99, $12.99, or $14.99 at 30% off pair that Target (pronounced Tar-jjay) has to offer.

Tar-jjay and not Tar-GIT since I am a graceful creature.