Lions and Tigers and Bears!

OH MY! You know you said it out loud just now. Admit it.

So I went on a walk this evening in a park nearby my house. It's the neighborhood park, which is why living in the smallest house in a rich neighborhood was a grand idea. You get the pool AND the park AND the playground. Don't think I haven't wanted to go down that slide...because I have.

So I went a-walking around 7:45pm and there were lots of cars in the parking lot, yet only about 7 other humans on the trail. I have been to this park at dawn and at dusk and it's in a brushy area that has a lot of housing development going on around it. I always fear that when I'm alone on the trail, I'm going to be breakfast or dinner for a large cat...like a mountain lion. And if you think that's crazy-talk, well you're wrong. There are mountain lions in a larger park in the same area of town. Yikes! Anyway, I'm always on my toes while walking on the trail...looking in the bushes and listening to rustles. Because I am strong, but I am all about Stranger Danger! Animal or human. And just in case, I have a plan to poke the mountain lion (or human) in the eyeballs should I ever be attacked.

Today, I saw plenty o' God's creatures on that trail. And I'm not talking about the two lesbians that walked behind me the entire way, despite my increase in pace to try to lose them.

I apologize. I don't actually know that they were lesbians. But the close walking and talking, athletic gear, mullets, and overall huskiness gave it away.

ANYWAY...I was about 5 minutes into my walk and I looked to my left to spy a sweet doe staring right back at me about 30 yards away. I stood for a few minutes and cooed at her and talked to her and she liked me. She didn't even scamper when I walked away. But then the lesbians were hot on my trail and the doe darted for cover.

Not twenty seconds later, I saw a lil bunny hippity hop across my path and it made me go, "OOOOOOOOOO A BUNNY!" like I'm 8 and have never seen one close up. The lesbians didn't care about the gentle cottontail.

A bit later, I saw a green snake. Yeah. But it was pencil thin and about 1.5 feet long. I stopped about 10 feet away from it and carefully considered my options. I nixed the idea of going into the brush to avoid the mountain lion lurking and ready to pounce. I narrowed it down to...Option 1: Run full speed and jump over and Option 2: Slowly step over it as wide as I can behind it.

Option 1 won out and the lesbians chose Option 2 without hesitation. Then they looked at me funny. As if I was the one with the mullet.

Then I saw a bear. Large and black and fluffy. Okay, it wasn't a bear...it was a Newfounland being walked by his owner. But it scared the bejeezus out of me and for 1.2 seconds...I thought it was a black bear on a leash.

I found out it was a Newfoundland because, while I fake-smiled at the owner and gave the dog the evil eye, the lesbians stopped the man and said, "He looks like a bear! He's beautiful! What kind?" At least I'm not the only one that thought the dog looked like a bear.

And as I rounded the trail at the end, a jackrabbit hopped across my path. Not the same bunny as before. I crouched down to watch him 7 feet away, under some brush. The lesbians passed me up but I was enamored with, "OOOOOOOOOOO LOOK ANOTHER BUNNY!"

A doe, two bunnies, a snake, a bear! OH MY!