My blogs might get a little preach-y from time to time. I hope you can deal. And if you can't, just say something like, "I'm rubber and you're glue...whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you!" or something as equally mature.
Because if what I write bounces off of you and sticks to me...then great. I need it.
Hebrews Chapter 10:
23Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. 24And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. 25Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.
Two things I want:
1. To really hang on unswervingly to the hope I profess...and the faith I believe...and my trust in the Lord. Unswervingly, people. Do you ever swerve? I do. Often, it starts like this: "I know I'm supposed to ___, but..." or "Well..." Sound familiar?
2. To spur on others toward love and good deeds. This might be through my funny stories or sharing a thought. Oh yeah...and Go Spurs Go! Therefore, I want to spur.
One thing I realize:
1. You people that read this are in the habit of meeting me and encouraging me. Whether it's a phonecall just to say hey, or a long email that lifts me up, or a hug that shares your love.
Thanks, friends.
Go...and swerve no more.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Sunday, January 6, 2008
In case you care...
When I decide to write a blog, here is the process. I think to myself, "Well, I may lose all my friends if I don't write something clever or important. Go turn on the computer." And then I file a nail, put on some lotion, light a candle, take out the trash, pack a few things...because, as it turns out...I have severe ADD. Then I turn on the computer, look at the blog and think, "Nothing. I got nothing."
Then I go look at a couple websites that show Britney in all her unfit-motherhood glory, Jessica Alba's new prego belly, and other trashy news-worthy events! Then I look at people.com a couple other blogs, and I try to come up with something clever.
And then I get sad because I am in no way clever.
And then I sit and stare at the computer...much like I'm doing right now...and think, "What am I supposed to write next? I got nothing."
Then I think of something and try to write about it. As for today, I GOT NOTHING. So I'm going to share a secret that is 100% true. I'm not sure I'm going to vote Republican in the next Presidential election.
!!!
Oh calm down. All I'm saying is I'm not sure. I'm going to need all of the facts. And to help me learn about those facts (and the candidates themselves), I'm sure it will help when I watch quality programming such as E! News and Talk Soup. So quality.
Then I go look at a couple websites that show Britney in all her unfit-motherhood glory, Jessica Alba's new prego belly, and other trashy news-worthy events! Then I look at people.com a couple other blogs, and I try to come up with something clever.
And then I get sad because I am in no way clever.
And then I sit and stare at the computer...much like I'm doing right now...and think, "What am I supposed to write next? I got nothing."
Then I think of something and try to write about it. As for today, I GOT NOTHING. So I'm going to share a secret that is 100% true. I'm not sure I'm going to vote Republican in the next Presidential election.
!!!
Oh calm down. All I'm saying is I'm not sure. I'm going to need all of the facts. And to help me learn about those facts (and the candidates themselves), I'm sure it will help when I watch quality programming such as E! News and Talk Soup. So quality.
Friday, January 4, 2008
What's in the box?
Oooo looky!
What could be in the box? A new pair of shoes?
Let's find out...
Almost...
Yup. It's my "tool box."
I asked my parents for a "tool box" for Christmas. I thought that was a VERY logical request what with the impending home-ownership and all. And the fact that as a single woman, I keep all necessary home-repair items in a FREAKING SHOE BOX! This, by the way, is a drastic improvement from the Target sacks that everything used to reside in.
Please notice the expensive roll of Scotch tape. That sucker cost me like $7.99. I keep nails in a bag, several boxes of batteries, matching hammer with several screw drivers, sandpaper, two mini staplers, picture hanging materials, and cables. All necessary items.
In a shoe box.
In case I'm ever stuck in my apartment and I have to MacGyver my way out.
Post Script: My parents did not get me a tool box, but they did give me a new camera, with which I took these pictures. Beggers can't be choosers.
Constitutional Hotness
He's just a 30-something-year-old, confused, emotionally wrought, good 'ol Texas boy. He's eloquent, polite, mostly respectful, successful, intelligent, and just trying to make it in this life. And I forgive him. How could you not?
Who is it? Before I tell you...let's review other forgivenesses. I just made up that word.
I forgave my dad for giving away my dog when I was in high school. I came home and had no dog. No warning...just no more dog. And I forgave Dad. That was huge.
I forgive Jesse Palmer for his womanizing ways. This one is important because he's hot. Every hot guy should be forgiven. I think that's in the constitution.
I forgive Kelly Ripa for birthing three children and having a rock-hard body. It's just not fair...but I forgive her.
And let's be honest...I can forgive others because others have to practice forgiveness with me with much more frequency. I do some pretty thoughtless things...like eat marshmallows out of the Lucky Charms, say mean things about boyfriends that I don't mean, say mean things about my friends' ability to perform in competitions. Yeah...I do some dumb things. Like I said yesterday, forgiveness is a key to good living. And I want to live good. Yesiree.
So...I said yesterday that you would shoot me for saying that I forgive him. But I do.
I forgive...none other than...Brad Womack. That's right, Bachelor Brad.
*GASP*
He was on Ellen back in November. Well, with the ingenious trickery that Hollywood calls reruns, I was able to catch the show yesterday. Poor man was OBVIOUSLY uncomfortable and just tried in his heart of hearts to explain himself. He was rubbing his hands, exhaling with puffed cheeks, and a little squirmy. I just felt for him.
Oh and he's hot. Yep, it's the 17th Amendment. Thou shalt forgive extraordinarily hot men.
Here are the points I forgive him on:
1. He said he's truly going through a break up and is not dating.
2. He said he regrets telling DeAnna that "Saturday will be a good day." He was trying to comfort her and he just said it. Everyone says things without thinking them all the way through. (Such as how I've said I don't want to be on her team because she will suck at Catchphrase. Sorry...I just said it.)
3. He truly wishes he found love because he believes in the fairytale romance. He's sad it didn't work out. Side note: I think Brad and I are the only two mentally defective people left in the world that still believes in this.
4. Under no circumstances did he ever ask the producers to fly her dad out to ask for her hand in marriage. !!! WELL I WISH SOMEONE WOULD HAVE TOLD ME THAT EARLIER. This is a huge point! He said that he told producers that if he planned on getting engaged, a phonecall would not be sufficient enough to ask for a woman's hand in marriage. He said he wants to look the woman's father in the eye and ask for her hand. The producers took it upon themselves to fly dad out...just in case.
5. This is the most relative point. It shakes me to my core and helps me understand life just a little bit better. He said, "There was definitely something, just not enough to pursue a relationship." I know exactly what he's talking about. And that is what makes me forgive him.
Road trip to Austin to go to his bars, anyone? I think it just might work out between him and me.
If you think I'm exercising flawed logic here, may I redirect you to the 17th Amendment? Forgive hot men.
On that note...I forgive the other guy, too. Buddy taught me a life lesson. Definitely something but not enough to pursue.
Who is it? Before I tell you...let's review other forgivenesses. I just made up that word.
I forgave my dad for giving away my dog when I was in high school. I came home and had no dog. No warning...just no more dog. And I forgave Dad. That was huge.
I forgive Jesse Palmer for his womanizing ways. This one is important because he's hot. Every hot guy should be forgiven. I think that's in the constitution.
I forgive Kelly Ripa for birthing three children and having a rock-hard body. It's just not fair...but I forgive her.
And let's be honest...I can forgive others because others have to practice forgiveness with me with much more frequency. I do some pretty thoughtless things...like eat marshmallows out of the Lucky Charms, say mean things about boyfriends that I don't mean, say mean things about my friends' ability to perform in competitions. Yeah...I do some dumb things. Like I said yesterday, forgiveness is a key to good living. And I want to live good. Yesiree.
So...I said yesterday that you would shoot me for saying that I forgive him. But I do.
I forgive...none other than...Brad Womack. That's right, Bachelor Brad.
*GASP*
He was on Ellen back in November. Well, with the ingenious trickery that Hollywood calls reruns, I was able to catch the show yesterday. Poor man was OBVIOUSLY uncomfortable and just tried in his heart of hearts to explain himself. He was rubbing his hands, exhaling with puffed cheeks, and a little squirmy. I just felt for him.
Oh and he's hot. Yep, it's the 17th Amendment. Thou shalt forgive extraordinarily hot men.
Here are the points I forgive him on:
1. He said he's truly going through a break up and is not dating.
2. He said he regrets telling DeAnna that "Saturday will be a good day." He was trying to comfort her and he just said it. Everyone says things without thinking them all the way through. (Such as how I've said I don't want to be on her team because she will suck at Catchphrase. Sorry...I just said it.)
3. He truly wishes he found love because he believes in the fairytale romance. He's sad it didn't work out. Side note: I think Brad and I are the only two mentally defective people left in the world that still believes in this.
4. Under no circumstances did he ever ask the producers to fly her dad out to ask for her hand in marriage. !!! WELL I WISH SOMEONE WOULD HAVE TOLD ME THAT EARLIER. This is a huge point! He said that he told producers that if he planned on getting engaged, a phonecall would not be sufficient enough to ask for a woman's hand in marriage. He said he wants to look the woman's father in the eye and ask for her hand. The producers took it upon themselves to fly dad out...just in case.
5. This is the most relative point. It shakes me to my core and helps me understand life just a little bit better. He said, "There was definitely something, just not enough to pursue a relationship." I know exactly what he's talking about. And that is what makes me forgive him.
Road trip to Austin to go to his bars, anyone? I think it just might work out between him and me.
If you think I'm exercising flawed logic here, may I redirect you to the 17th Amendment? Forgive hot men.
On that note...I forgive the other guy, too. Buddy taught me a life lesson. Definitely something but not enough to pursue.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Ready...Aim...
Fire. You're going to shoot me after you read this. I can't even believe I'm going to say it. But I am.
I forgive him.
!!!
"Who?" you might be asking. Or you're just thinking, "Well, she's definitely lost it. I have no idea where she comes up with this nonsense." And if you have replaced the word 'nonsense' with a stronger, less genteel word, then you might need to revisit your New Year's Resolution List. Item #4: Curse less. While most people think conversations with me are in fact nonsensical, I want you to know that I mean what I am saying here. I forgive him.
Forgiveness is one the keys to life. Or a commandment. Or something we're supposed to do. Or just good living. I can't remember...but I know we're supposed to do it. So...I FORGIVE HIM.
Tune in tomorrow to find out who!
I forgive him.
!!!
"Who?" you might be asking. Or you're just thinking, "Well, she's definitely lost it. I have no idea where she comes up with this nonsense." And if you have replaced the word 'nonsense' with a stronger, less genteel word, then you might need to revisit your New Year's Resolution List. Item #4: Curse less. While most people think conversations with me are in fact nonsensical, I want you to know that I mean what I am saying here. I forgive him.
Forgiveness is one the keys to life. Or a commandment. Or something we're supposed to do. Or just good living. I can't remember...but I know we're supposed to do it. So...I FORGIVE HIM.
Tune in tomorrow to find out who!
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Decorator Disabled
Let me fill you in on the excitement of my life.
I'm bored. So bored that I want to go back to school. I need socialization. I'm coming over to spend time with my parents and not be alone. That's how bored I am.
So the excitement of my life...which is just a cover-up for all the scary stuff going on right now: I bought more storage tubs at Target. I went the other day, got two...each for $4. I decided, while packing my apartment, that I needed more tubs for four dollars!!!!!! I went today, picked up two more, headed over to the tape area, got two things of large, Scotch packing tape...with a dispenser. I took it to the check-out, left it with the lady and told her I was going to go back to get a rug. That's right...I bought an area rug at Target. I think it's pretty.
A picture really doesn't do it justice. It's going to go in the 'living room.' This is all still 'in theory' considering I don't actually have keys or anything AND I'm quite possibly the worst decorator ever. It's just not one of my many talents...like singing in an English accent.
So I take my tubs and my tape to the register to wait for me while I go get the rug...because while I am strong, I am unable to carry many cumbersome things at once. I get back, and the cashier has so thoughtfully scanned my 3 items into a receipt already. So she just scans the recipt and it shows $15 and some change. I was like..."WOAH WOAH! Those tubs were supposed to be $4 each!" She was nice and didn't even look angry that I said 'WOAH' to her and told me that the tape was $10. I'm sorry...Scotch tape is $10? Ugh...whatever...I can't have untaped boxes, so okay. My rug was just slightly more expensive than the tape.
I've packed more stuff in my apartment and it's starting to look really sad and lonely. Not a good time for that right now, my friends. But I'll be moving in a few weeks, so that will be exciting.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Sweet Mercies
I write today with a heavy, heavy saddness on my heart and with giant tears in my eyes. I've cried hard before, but I sobbed weighty sobs today. I can barely get through this but I really want to. Gosh, I don't know where to start and this may be all over the map. I'm sorry in advance.
Ever since becoming a Christian, I haven't always known 'the Plan' but believed...through blind faith...that God will work things to my good. I struggle...like most others...with trusting that concept, relinquishing control to Him, patience...but I believe it. I look for the lessons God is trying to teach me...I pray...I listen...I try. Well, God's trying to teach me a lesson here. I hear Him loud and clear. Right now, today. It SUCKS that it took all of this saddness for the last 6 months for me to get it. But I got it. I got it all in 2007.
I posted yesterday on 2007 and reflection and the title was, "And I think to myself..." If you went and listened to the song, it was..."And I think to myself...what a wonderful world." And isn't it?
Our earthly answer is, "Yes it is. This is a beautiful world." And I believe it is: the landscapes and colors and experiences and feelings and emotions and people and relationshps and smells and tastes...and I'm sure I'm forgetting a lot here. It is all beautiful. And God gave it to us to enjoy. He gave us our senses (hopefully) to enjoy it.
But it is so so easily taken. My co-worker lost her husband to a massive heart attack at the age of 39 yesterday. The last day of 2007. They have three daughters: ages 6, 4, and 2. The grief today was incomprehensible. There is no rhyme or reason. And I held her and told her things we both believe about our faith but it was all futile words. She was saying that she knows there was a reason for him to be here and be gone so soon. He was a Christian man and he's rejoicing in Heaven and they'll be reunited again...no doubt about it. She knows she has to be strong for the girls. But those girls will never grow up with their daddy. He played on the floor with them and he was supposed to walk them down the aisle. Veronica kept telling me she lost the love of her life. That's it. It's over for her. And I believed her. She tried to revive him. At least she was with him. Now there are his clothes and his side of the bed and the memories and the dreams. And two nights ago when they went on a date and shared their hopes and expectations for the coming year and for life. Gone. She hugged me and told me to cherish my new nephew (Side note SNL, she has determined you're having a boy!) because it can all be gone. In the moments when I was to console her, we buried our sobbing faces in each other's necks and she showered me with compliments. She told me about how wonderful and amazing I am and how love like that is so rare these days and she knows I'll find it and when I do to hold on for dear life. This woman is strong as stone. She'll be okay...his family will be okay...her family will be okay...those girls will be okay...friends will be okay. God will provide for what we need. For that day...that's what He's promised. Day by day.
It was the worst thing I've ever seen in my entire life. I never, ever, EVER want to experience a pain like that. NEVER. But can we protect against it? Are we strong enough to get through it? I unfortunately felt despair for life stronger than I have before. So much so, that I fear the good things because I consequently fear them being taken away. I can't imagine the loss. I drove home with gigantic tears streaming down my cheeks saying, "THIS IS RIDICULOUS!" And it is. Is it worth it? I just don't know. Unfortunately.
So here's my lesson. Yesterday I was saying, "What a wonderful world." Today, I think...
The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me. ~John 12:25-26
It is shattering that deep, guttural pain reminds me not to love this life as much as I do. It's like God was saying, "How much can I give her to bear? How about I let her endure this...and then this...oh, this too. When will she break?" And I held up as long as I could. And now I can't.
"I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.” Isaiah 42:16
Do you remember playing with your older brother (most of us have one, sorry Coco...but I bet the middle daughter did this to you) and he'd pin you down and tickle you, or give you the Indian Torture Treatment or an Indian Burn? In my house, it worked to cry to get the brother to release...but the surefire way to get him to stop was to say, "MERCY!" While I don't feel like God would ever forsake me or torture me, I feel like my heart cries out, "MERCY!" Please stop. Enough.
The last thing I want to share...besides the tender words God gives me through His Word to remind me that there is a rhyme and reason...are the lyrics to this song. As I drove home from visiting Veronica, this Chris Tomlin song was on my CD. It is one that I hadn't payed attention to before. The song is so fitting in how it cries out for Mercy. Sweet mercies. Please read the lyrics. Please pray for Veronica and her daughters Vanessa, Diana, Sophie in the loss of their father and husband, Santos.
"Let Your Mercy Rain" by Chris Tomlin
(I could only find it on Amazon, in a short clip http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000S55CWI/ref=dm_mu_dp_trk10?ie=UTF8&qid=1199240434&sr=1-1)
God, You have done great things
God, You give grace to the weak
And bless the brokenhearted
With a song of praise to sing
You reached down and lifted us up
You came running, looking for us
And now there's nothing
And no one beyond Your love
You're the overflow
You're the fountain of my heart
Let Your mercy rain
Let Your mercy rain on us
You're the faithful one
When the world's falling apart
Let Your mercy rain
Let Your mercy rain on us
How deep, how wide, how long, how high is Your love ... is Your love
How deep, how wide, how long, how high is Your love ... is Your love
Oh, God
Let it rain
Ever since becoming a Christian, I haven't always known 'the Plan' but believed...through blind faith...that God will work things to my good. I struggle...like most others...with trusting that concept, relinquishing control to Him, patience...but I believe it. I look for the lessons God is trying to teach me...I pray...I listen...I try. Well, God's trying to teach me a lesson here. I hear Him loud and clear. Right now, today. It SUCKS that it took all of this saddness for the last 6 months for me to get it. But I got it. I got it all in 2007.
I posted yesterday on 2007 and reflection and the title was, "And I think to myself..." If you went and listened to the song, it was..."And I think to myself...what a wonderful world." And isn't it?
Our earthly answer is, "Yes it is. This is a beautiful world." And I believe it is: the landscapes and colors and experiences and feelings and emotions and people and relationshps and smells and tastes...and I'm sure I'm forgetting a lot here. It is all beautiful. And God gave it to us to enjoy. He gave us our senses (hopefully) to enjoy it.
But it is so so easily taken. My co-worker lost her husband to a massive heart attack at the age of 39 yesterday. The last day of 2007. They have three daughters: ages 6, 4, and 2. The grief today was incomprehensible. There is no rhyme or reason. And I held her and told her things we both believe about our faith but it was all futile words. She was saying that she knows there was a reason for him to be here and be gone so soon. He was a Christian man and he's rejoicing in Heaven and they'll be reunited again...no doubt about it. She knows she has to be strong for the girls. But those girls will never grow up with their daddy. He played on the floor with them and he was supposed to walk them down the aisle. Veronica kept telling me she lost the love of her life. That's it. It's over for her. And I believed her. She tried to revive him. At least she was with him. Now there are his clothes and his side of the bed and the memories and the dreams. And two nights ago when they went on a date and shared their hopes and expectations for the coming year and for life. Gone. She hugged me and told me to cherish my new nephew (Side note SNL, she has determined you're having a boy!) because it can all be gone. In the moments when I was to console her, we buried our sobbing faces in each other's necks and she showered me with compliments. She told me about how wonderful and amazing I am and how love like that is so rare these days and she knows I'll find it and when I do to hold on for dear life. This woman is strong as stone. She'll be okay...his family will be okay...her family will be okay...those girls will be okay...friends will be okay. God will provide for what we need. For that day...that's what He's promised. Day by day.
It was the worst thing I've ever seen in my entire life. I never, ever, EVER want to experience a pain like that. NEVER. But can we protect against it? Are we strong enough to get through it? I unfortunately felt despair for life stronger than I have before. So much so, that I fear the good things because I consequently fear them being taken away. I can't imagine the loss. I drove home with gigantic tears streaming down my cheeks saying, "THIS IS RIDICULOUS!" And it is. Is it worth it? I just don't know. Unfortunately.
So here's my lesson. Yesterday I was saying, "What a wonderful world." Today, I think...
The man who loves his life will lose it, while the man who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me; and where I am, my servant also will be. My Father will honor the one who serves me. ~John 12:25-26
It is shattering that deep, guttural pain reminds me not to love this life as much as I do. It's like God was saying, "How much can I give her to bear? How about I let her endure this...and then this...oh, this too. When will she break?" And I held up as long as I could. And now I can't.
"I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them.” Isaiah 42:16
Do you remember playing with your older brother (most of us have one, sorry Coco...but I bet the middle daughter did this to you) and he'd pin you down and tickle you, or give you the Indian Torture Treatment or an Indian Burn? In my house, it worked to cry to get the brother to release...but the surefire way to get him to stop was to say, "MERCY!" While I don't feel like God would ever forsake me or torture me, I feel like my heart cries out, "MERCY!" Please stop. Enough.
The last thing I want to share...besides the tender words God gives me through His Word to remind me that there is a rhyme and reason...are the lyrics to this song. As I drove home from visiting Veronica, this Chris Tomlin song was on my CD. It is one that I hadn't payed attention to before. The song is so fitting in how it cries out for Mercy. Sweet mercies. Please read the lyrics. Please pray for Veronica and her daughters Vanessa, Diana, Sophie in the loss of their father and husband, Santos.
"Let Your Mercy Rain" by Chris Tomlin
(I could only find it on Amazon, in a short clip http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000S55CWI/ref=dm_mu_dp_trk10?ie=UTF8&qid=1199240434&sr=1-1)
God, You have done great things
God, You give grace to the weak
And bless the brokenhearted
With a song of praise to sing
You reached down and lifted us up
You came running, looking for us
And now there's nothing
And no one beyond Your love
You're the overflow
You're the fountain of my heart
Let Your mercy rain
Let Your mercy rain on us
You're the faithful one
When the world's falling apart
Let Your mercy rain
Let Your mercy rain on us
How deep, how wide, how long, how high is Your love ... is Your love
How deep, how wide, how long, how high is Your love ... is Your love
Oh, God
Let it rain
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