We are the more complex, yet smarter, gender.

And by we...I mean my entire audience. I can pretty much guarantee "we" are all female. I can also pretty much guarantee that I know every single person's first and last name that reads this blog. Oh yes, I am quite the internet phenomenon.

So here are two stories that remind me of the fact of our superiority. I think you'll like them.

Conversation Between Two Men #1
Jeff: So I've been dating this girl for a while now.
Will: Cool. Good luck with that, man.
(And just so you know, this convo is probably filed under "Best conversations I've ever had with one of my closest friends" for both of these gents. I also added the "good luck" part because they are close. I don't know that it was actually said.)

My reaction to Convo #1:
(quite some time later) Me: Uh Will...I hear Jeff's dating some one new! What's her name?
Will: I don't know.
Me: Why not?
Will: I didn't ask.
Me: Weren't you with him all weekend?
Will: Yes.
Me: Did you guys talk about it? Did he tell you about her?
Will: No. Stop asking me questions.

Conversation Between Two Men #2
Gary: Debbie emailed me this week. (to clue you in, Debbie and Gary had broken up 1+ year ago)
Bill: Hmmm...I haven't heard that name in a while.

Gary: Yeah, something about how she got a wine from a vineyard we went to.

Bill: Ah. Well...how's Travis?

(Gary filled Bill in about his son Travis and the men moved on.)

Bill relayed this story to me. My reaction and Christine's reaction to this convo:
Christine: Did he email her back?
Bill: I don't know.
Me: Why'd she email?
Bill: (confused stare)
Me: Well, she didn't email to tell him about wine from a vineyard.
Bill: (DUMBFOUNED LOOK) Yes she did! That's what her email said!
Christine and Anne look at each other and laugh.
Me: Men are stupid.
Bill: You women are wind-talking again. I don't understand.


All of this is just a humorous reminder that I need every once in a while to remind me that men are stupid. Say it slowly...say it with me...men are stupid. What don't they get about the next-logical questions? These are FOLLOW-UP questions here! They are rational.

However, it helps me understand some people a little better and how I was probably never at fault and never did anything wrong. It's just that the man was too stupid to thoroughly process my phonecalls or texts. They just don't think it through. Perhaps you know what I'm talking about.

And if what I said earlier is true -that I know the first and last name of each of my readers- then I know you are all married or in a serious relationship and you'll agree. Maybe you won't use the word stupid...because you promised to love one of them through sickness and stupidity is a sickness that never goes away...but maybe dense, thoughtless, ill-thinking, or inherently flawed is more appropriate.

You be the judge.

Plagued I Am Not

Just when things are going good...when things are right in the world...when things are coming together...

I'm reminded how quickly I can be brought down. Brought down to a place where, at 27-years-old, I can not physically function on my own and must rely on my parents to feed me and make sure I'm in a safe place to sleep. As opposed to the bathroom floor of my apartment - the spot where I fainted Friday morning.

I found out today that I do not have the bubonic plague, like I had hoped. No no, it's just some accute bronchitis. Yup...a two hour trip to the urgent care clinic answered all my questions. It is at this location that I fainted twice, fell asleep on the examining table several times, and had my Mommy drive me to and fro. As I left, the office staff asked, "Is she all right?" I looked at them like, "Eat it people. You are the medical professionals here. Am I? Am I going to live?" I just don't know. It is also at this urgent care clinic that a doctor with ZERO personality determined that I needed a shot in my bum, Robitussin with CODINE, and a pill to cure something-or-other. I don't care...load me up.

I don't remember the last time I had a shot, certainly on my rear, but I was so excited to hear that he wanted to give me one. Shots mean business. Shots mean that medicine is coursing through you ASAP. Shots mean that yes, you aren't being a wuss, you really are sick. However, when a middle aged woman is groping your butt, it is very hard to do what she asks, "Relax." Mom said the needle was huge and I TOTALLY tensed up. I keep having to check to make sure my right leg is still attached because I don't feel it...and I'm dragging leg behind me as I go.

So I thought I'd blog to say that I'm still alive...barely...but these drugs should have me better in no time! I'm off to have some dinner with a side of Codine. I'll wake up sometime Sunday evening I presume.

Sensory Overload

So proud of myself. Yet humble.
This is show business, not show friends.
Thankful. Grateful.
Blessed.
Overwhelmed. Sensory overload.
Excited. Emphatic. Enthusiastic.
Intelligent.
Busy. A lot to do.
Graceful.
Independent. Strong. Trailblazer.
Safe. Secure. Confident.
Trusting. Held.
Patient. Peaceful.

How is it possible to feel all of this in one day...let alone in a short span of time? I don't know how but I do know that it is possible.


I bought a house today. All by myself. I said a while back when this process was just in the early stages that it was time to "put my big girl panties on and deal with it." Well...

I am woman. HEAR. ME. ROAR.

Brevity is not my gift.

This is my song for the day: http://www.myspace.com/caedmonscall. Make sure you have "There is a Reason" playing. Here are the lyrics. And, because I think I'm well-versed in musical interpretations, mine follows.

late at night I wonder why
sometimes I wonder why
sometimes I'm so tiredI don't even try
seems everything around me fails
but I hold on to the promise
that there is a reason

late at night, the darkness makes it hard to see
the history of the saints who've gone in front of me
through famine, plague and disbelief
His hand was still upon them
cause there is a reason
there is a reason

HE MAKES ALL THINGS GOOD
HE MAKES ALL THINGS GOOD
there's a time to live
and a time to die
A TIME FOR WONDER AND TO WONDER WHY
cause there is a reason
there is a reason

I believe in a God who sent His only son
to walk upon this world and give His life for us
with blood and tears on a long, dark night
we know that He believed
that there is a reason
there is a reason

for the lonely nights
and broken hearts
the widow's mite
in the rich man's hand
and the continent
whose blood becomes a traitor

for the child afraid to close their eyes
the prayers that seem unanswered
there is a reason
there is a reason

So God gave me this song today. And how often have we heard that "God works things to our good" and "There is a reason"? Yeah...me too...A LOT. So much so that it is, at times, the antithesis of helpful. It is nauseating. But not today, dear people. Today this song resonates in every line.

I drove away from a very important duty today with tears in my eyes and this song was on the radio. How do people have unbelief that God shows up through song, a breeze, a chance happening? I'm glad I'm not one of those people. I know he shows up. He just did.

Time and Reason. 'There's a time for everything' and 'There is a reason.' Two notions I won't soon forget.

Fought the Good Fight...

After a lot of campaigning, persuasion, bribery, and some other unmentionable actions...I must report that I have not been selected as TOY. Also known as, Teacher of the Year.

I know. You're as surprised as I am. I didn't even make it to the Finals.

Perhaps it was because I didn't start tutoring the kids early enough. Perhaps it was because I told someone to "JUST GO PUT YOUR HEAD DOWN BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOUR FACE OR HEAR YOUR VOICE FOR A WHILE!" Can you believe the principal got mad when I told her that? Or maybe it was the time I told a kid to "rub some dirt on it" instead of sending him and his bloody puncture wound to the Nurse.

There are truly so very many reasons that I am more often than not considered MCNTOY (Most Certainly Not Teacher of the Year) or WTE (Worst Teacher Ever) than TOY. But I can't dwell on what I've done wrong or how I could change or become better.

Wait. I think that's exactly what I'm supposed to do. Improve.

And maybe...just maybe...I'll stop yelling at kids and refine my instructional strategies and I'll get another shot. But hey...it's only my fifth year teaching and I've been nominated twice...so my career isn't a total bust. Thank you for your support and donations, friends.

Help!

I didn't set the goal of going out to help someone today...but I did! I guess one should be more humble about it...and it really wasn't a big deal...but it was nice and helpful. I felt good after I did it.

Oh and I ate an entire box of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese Spirals tonight. The spirals part is imperative. And currently, I'm sucking down a chocolate milkshake from the fine establishment that is known as Sonic. I'm consuming it with so much speed and force that I have given myself a cramp underneath my right lung. But these aren't the things I did today that were nice and helpful. I just wanted to share.

I helped a fellow in my apartment complex jump start his dead battery this afternoon. It's what Martin would want me to do. I think it made the world a better place.

I was just going out to run some errands and he asked me if I had "5 minutes and some jumper cables." Well sure! So, I pulled my car up, got out the cables and told Bill that I would let him "do the heavy lifting" as I handed him the cables. I always forget which car you're supposed to start with, and if you do black before red or red before black. AHHHH! And, since it was raining, I also determined that I'd prefer Bill to suffer the consequences of playing with electrical currents and water.

I'm not certain Martin would have wanted me to prefer for someone else to get injured rather than myself. But hey...I'm helping the dude out...and it's his dead car. I ain't gonna suffer.

Goal Tending

Everyone has "things to do." A lengthy, overwhelming at times, and seemingly neverending To Do List. And boy, does it feel good to check those things off - no matter how great or small. Errands, projects, duties, responsibilites, obligations, deposits into relationships. I'm sure these are all things on your list at one time or another. Or, if you're like me, they are on the list with consistency.

But I want to get deeper. Let's bypass the things that we have to do -because remember, we're trying to Be Still- and let's set some goals. Yes, they can be objectives...but more hopes, dreams, ideals for interactions and living this week.

We can sure complicate life. Raise your hand if you think this life is easy...not so fast Miss Rose. So I've got tons to do this week...and we're all connected because I'm not alone in that. We may have different things to do, and at different times we have varying magnitudes accompanying those things, but we are all busy.

Do you have a list? Well, I'm going to try to connect with the humanness in us all. Here is my list:

1. Smile and be extra kind to a parent in my classroom every time I see him this week. Even if it's pretending. Try not to pretend.
2. Tell someone exactly how much they have helped me during a very important time in my life. Don't write it down (though that is nice), but tell her to her face so she knows how sincere I am.
3. Exhibit independence and intelligence on Wednesday. But trumping these two should be grace and humility. Don't freak out, too.

Okay, I think three'll do it. That's pretty much all I can handle. But I'll try to do it all with a happy heart and with good manners.

Saying "yes ma'am" and "no sir" pretty much gives you a Free Pass.