Hurry Up and Wait

I know I touched on this a couple of days ago, but I keep coming back to it. Waiting. It's a concept we learn at a young age. I appreciate the teachers and parents that give a reason for the "No!" and "Share!" and "Wait your turn!" We need a reason because, for me, "Because!" isn't good enough. So when I'm told to "Wait!" or have the feeling that I'm supposed to "Be patient!" I retort with, "WHY?"

I don't quite understand why. Kind of like how I don't understand the thoughts that consume my mind at 5:45am when I put my feet on the floor. Does God want me to entertain these thoughts? Was I dreaming about this? Why can't I let this go? IT'S 5:45 FOR GOODNESS SAKES...I DIDN'T BRING THIS UPON MYSELF!

Wait your turn. I never doubt anyone else's plans coming to fruition. I fully believe that good things will happen for them and that prayers will be answered...positively so. I look at my friends and have no doubt that they'll have all they ever dreamed of. But I somehow taught myself that it will not happen for me...even if I wait.

God answers our prayers in three ways: yes, no, or wait. I really like the 'yes'es. I LOVE the 'yes'es. Especially when it is a quick yes. Sadly, we (I) don't acknowledge every yes in my daily life, though I try to recognize and appreciate each yes I am given.

The 'no's are not what I want to hear -who likes being told, "No!"?- but I can understand the 'no's because I believe God will bring something else. I understand that this was not the plan and I will have to trust and pray and come up with a new plan. I am able to learn from and overcome the 'no's.

Oh but the waiting. How I hate the waiting. Waiting = patience = longsuffering. Who wants to suffer for a long time? Yeah, I didn't think so. And for me, waiting means questioning. DUN DUN DUN. Who is the queen of questions and overanalyzation? Raise your hand if you're writing this blog.

I'm sure I've had to wait for a couple things in my life. But for the life of me, I can't recall too many times where my impatience didn't involve a meal at a restaurant or looking forward to a fun event. My life has always been abundantly blessed in so many ways and I regularly feel as though I don't deserve it. So at this time, when I must be patient, I know that God wants to give us (me) the BEST things in life. If only we (I) will apply the faith that the waiting calls for. I can choose to wait with God or walk away from God.

So you can catch me here...just waiting. I'm gonna hurry up and wait.