Be Still...

Several irons in the fire. Don't know when to quit. Go go go. Nonstop. Achieve. Higher. More. GIVE ME MORE.

Yup, that's how I view life. I once decided that if I achieve and go and do more then the life that I want will hurry up and get here. If I can just check off the boxes of things to do in life...If I can just power through today, then tomorrow will get here...and...maybe...

Tomorrow. Maybe. Just maybe it will happen.

The kicker is that I still think that I have never missed out on the life that I've been given (or the life that I've chosen) because it's been fast and furious and busy the last couple of years. It's what I like. I'm proud of it. But too proud? What is the definition of too proud? How much should I do? When do I just stop and Be Still?

Last night I decided that I needed to Be Still. Psalm 46:10 says "Be still and know that I am God." I'm sure we know that verse well...perhaps have it committed to memory. But how often are you still? I can't be the only one here that is in a constant state of motion and getaheadedness. (Yes, it's a word.) So I meditated on that...prayed on it...and that lasted for the minutes before bed. I'll be still when I sleep, I think. But not now...there's too much to do.

Stillness. It's something I fear. I think that if I'm still, I'm missing out. I'm not proactive. I'm not achieving, I'm wasting precious time, I'm not becoming better. Better than what? Well that, I don't know. But I fear that I'm going to get behind...behind someone, miss out on something, not the best person I can be and that is unacceptable. But what if all the GO GO GO has caused me to not be alert enough to see something else?

Well, I think God has provision in that. I don't know if I've missed something...thought I don't feel I have...but recently I hear something that tells me, "Sit. Be still. Rest." God provides in giving me the right time and right place to Be Still. Recover.

I don't know the last time I napped or rested on a weekend...except when I was sick. I tried to rest today when I came home from school. And by rest I mean sit down. I sat down on the yoga ball (why sit in a chair when you can sit on a bouncy ball to work your midsection?). Pretty promplty, I realized I needed to check email, then I contacted people on house stuff, jumped rope literally 1,000 times, and packed tons of boxes (Oh my holy...I had forgotten and underestimated the magnitude of kitchen gear I've accumulated). I could not rest. (However, during dinner preparation and eating I did watch 'Scott Baio is 46 and Pregnant' and it is SPECTACULAR TELEVISION PROGRAMMING. Perhaps my senses to TV are deadened since I don't know the last time I watched a TV program that was not sports. Please go watch the Baio.)

So, my new plan is to make sure that I sit down for at least 30 minutes every day. Not reading at night before bed, not packing, not thinking about house or email or blog or school or LIFE. I even found a place to sit. Look, an unobstructed chair!

The chair is a far better option (well, the ONLY option) since the rest of my domicile looks like this...

So, I'm going to sit and Be Still. Today. And tomorrow. And the day after.

And when I sit, I want to know that He is God. Doesn't that sound nice?